Good-by and Hello (Or: Why NY?)

About 2 1/2 months ago, I packed all of my belongings and moved from Dallas, TX (where I lived my entire 28 years of existence) to New York City. But, what most of you probably don't know is why or how. Whenever someone asks me why I moved here, they inevitably follow with, "was it for a job or school?", and I don't blame them, since those are the top two reasons I can think of to relocate to another city. For a while, I was embarrassed to answer this question since I felt like my reasons for moving weren't nearly so "responsible" (or clear), and ended up fumbling around trying to make up an excuse that didn't sound so crazy. After being asked that a few times, realizing that it would become a common question, I shortened my response to, "Just because." The first few times I tried it out, I was a bit afraid that it would not be a satisfactory answer, but surprisingly enough, I am usually met with a large grin and a "Good for you!"

Sometimes its hard for me to pinpoint why I'm here exactly. Living in New York was nothing that I had always dreamed about, (although 5 years ago while visiting NYC with my roommate, Rosalyn, I mentioned to her that I could see myself spending a couple of years here) nor was it a rash, over-night decision. The whole thing unfolded very slowly, and completely guided by God.

If you had told me a year and a half ago that I would be writing this blog in my Brooklyn apartment, I would have thought you were nuts. My life, at the time, appeared to be going down a very different path, however things started to change. In 2007, all of the following events happened: I became very ill for an entire month, and ended up with pneumonia; my cat died, that I had had since I was 11 years old; I was laid off my job; my Grandmother passed away; and I lost someone else that I loved very dearly. It was, to date, the hardest year of my life. I am still amazed that despite everything that happened, that I was still able to function and did not attempt (or even think about) suicide.

In September of that year, I began to consider life in another city, thanks to the nudging from my good friend, Laura. At first, moving somewhere was just an interesting, but terrifying, thought. I started asking everyone I knew if they had friends in other places, since I knew I couldn't go somewhere where I didn't know anyone--I'm not that brave. Chicago, New York, London, Portland, among others, were all in the running.

Then a funny thing happened. I had dinner one night with my fellow youth leader, Caity, three of our youth girls, and one of the girls' older sister, Kelsey. Caity asked Kelsey when she would be moving to New York (she did a photography internship the previous summer here), and she replied, "I'm going in May or June after graduation." Almost immediately, I turned to her and said, "Can I go with you?" She gave me a startled look, and I continued with, "You think I'm joking, but I'm not." Kelsey said that she already had a roommate lined up, but that they could probably use another. Three weeks later I was on a plane to meet her in NYC for an "exploration" trip. After spending the week there, I decided that unless God made it obvious that I shouldn't move, I was going to go for it. Door after door continued to open, while I got more and more terrified. It was clear that it was time for me to move, but I was not excited about it. However, I knew that if I didn't take this opportunity, I would regret it for the rest of my life. But to make it easier, I committed to just one year, and after that, would re-evaluate the situation--no long-term commitments yet. I was also encouraged by others who told me that they could see me living here. So to all of those who said that, I give my sincere thanks.

Finally, on June 12th, I said good-by to my family in Dallas, and hello to my new life 1500 miles away in New York City. I might have not moved for a job, school, or even to pursue a specific dream, I think I just needed a change--a BIG one. Who knows what purpose God has for me here, but I am looking forward to finding out what it is, even if it was just to make me braver. And after being in New York several months, I still walk around Manhattan starry-eyed with the images of Times Square, Central Park, or the massive skyscrapers, and sometimes can't believe that I'm actually living here.